The Truth About Abuse & Trauma
Abuse and deception go hand in hand. I have never known a case of abuse that didn’t have deceit, denial, and dysfunction. There’s always a sinister nature to abuse.
If you have suffered neglect, abuse, and betrayal, you don't "just gets over it." Survivors don't merely "move on" from trauma. Even if you tried to forget it, your body is entrenched with cellular memory, which means that it can manifest into chronic pain, depression, Complex PTSD/PTSD, and medical conditions.
Instead of trying to pretend the abuse didn't happen, we need to grieve our loss. Grief is messy. It's painful. It can feel quite traumatic. There is no timeline to process your trauma and grief. Give yourself safe space to gently move through normal stages of grief and the trauma recovery.
Understand that anger is not an "F" word. It doesn't make you a "bad person" to feel justified anger. Anger is a legitimate response by those who've suffered all forms of abuse, including child abuse, narcissistic abuse, sibling abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, and sexual abuse.
Your anger and tears are valid. According to trauma expert and therapist, Pete Walker, if we skip over justified anger and instantly forgive the abusers BEFORE fully working through the underlying issues, we MISSED the opportunity to heal. It is a disservice to YOURSELF.
Please don't skip this vital step. Today, may you give yourself permission to fully feel and express your valid, human emotions. Find productive and healthy ways to release your anger, frustration, and sorrow. Ultimately, we must feel it to heal it.
If you need emotional support or to get unstuck from your past trauma, I am a Trauma Recovery Coach (soon to be certified) who can work with you as a mentor to guide you along your healing journey. Coaching with me offers you space space to gain insight, wisdom, and practical tools to recover. Best wishes to you and your healing journey.