Spiritual Awakening After Narcissistic Abuse
For those who have suffered narcissistic abuse or toxic relationships, have you experienced a spiritual awakening? Was there a shift in your beliefs and your spirituality?
When I talk about a spiritual enlightenment, I am not referring to organized religion, nor the church. There is a big difference between religion and spirituality. It’s like night and day.
For each person, spirituality may not appear the same. Each of us come from a totally different background, belief system, upbringings, and unique perspectives about what soul growth means to us. For you, spirituality may be connected to a Higher Power, the Creator, God, the universe, or something else.
What is a spiritual awakening? According to WakeupWorld.com, “When we undergo a spiritual awakening, we literally ‘wake up’ to life. We question our old beliefs, habits, and social conditioning, and we see that there is more to life than how much we have been taught.”
Today, I’m going to share my personal spiritual awakening and then give a list of 10 signs that you are experiencing a spiritual awakening. From 2016 through 2018, I had a gradual shift in my conscious reality. Slowly, I started to build more awareness about my own soul growth.
Some people may have thought my experience was a “faith crisis.” Nope! Instead, I was truly awakening to my core essence. To understand my soul mission in life. To know that I am not a physical body having a spiritual experience, but that I’m a spiritual being having a physical experience on earth. This nudged me to release religious dogma and unlearn false teachings in order to embrace my true self and destiny.
In 2018, after coming to the conclusion that my mother was a malignant narcissist and my siblings were quite toxic, I hit rock bottom. During this timeline, I went full no contact with each of them. It was dark, lonely, and isolating. Yet, it was exactly what my soul needed in effort to expand myself.
What made it complicated was that my mother started hoovering me, baiting me, and she refused to respect my healthy boundaries. My toxic siblings and their families began gaslighting me, stalking me, manipulating me, and creating smear campaigns against me. Typical covert tactics and mind games that unhealthy people like to play.
This was the start of “The Dark Night of the Soul” for me. The dark night of the soul is a term that is typically used to describe a period of spiritual transformation. However, it can feel heavy, suffocating, unbearable, and include significant suffering.
It’s when your soul is in a wrestling match with your ego. Simply stated, your ego must die for your soul to thrive. The dark night of the soul can teach you valuable lessons if you are open and willing to receive it. Resisting it can sabotage your soul growth and healing.
From 2018 through this present time, I’ve been open to my spiritual awakening. It has been by far the most incredible, life-changing experience. My soul had a deep longing for me to heal; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
This led me onto a beautiful journey of soul growth. It drastically shifted my old beliefs, my perspectives, my mindset, and my entire life. There were divine signs that guided me to trust myself and this amazing process.
It was not coincidental that I began seeing supernatural signs everywhere. Minor and major synchronicities, including red cardinals, hawks, mourning doves, butterflies, rainbows, vivid dreams and visions in a waking state, and recurring numbers, especially 111 and 333. After my dad passed away in March 2019, one day I was with my husband strolling on a path in the park when we noticed a small rainbow. It looked like a prism with shades of red, orange, green, blue, and yellow. What mystified me was that it wasn’t rainy; it was actually sunny outside.
I was so intrigued with this gorgeous rainbow that I snapped a few pictures. Later that day, I shared the photographs on Twitter. Instantly, two of my friends sent me a private message. They both confirmed that there was an angel next to the rainbow in the sky.
When I took a closer glimpse at my pictures, I could clearly see the angel. My two friends said they believed this was my dad’s soul in an angelic form and that he was watching over me. One of my friends who is an empath and spiritual person shared that she sensed my father was sending me a message that he loves me.
Immediately, tears started falling down my face. It was very touching and emotional for me. I felt the presence of a Higher Power upon me. An unconditional love and light surrounded me. It’s hard to articulate a spiritual experience, but those of you have also had angelic encounters or divine signs, you know what I’m talking about. It’s super emotional and miraculous.
My spiritual awakening prompted me to listen to that soft voice within me. To trust myself and my gut instincts. To know that my intuition will never lead me astray.
The most remarkable change that has taken place in my spiritual awakening is my viewpoint about my narcissistic mother. Last July, after my mom had passed away, I had a vivid dream about her. It felt very real.
In my dream, I was in the back yard of the home where I had grown up with my family. My four sisters were with me, but we were not talking. We were aware that our mother was deceased.
Suddenly, hundreds of hundreds of Monarch butterflies surrounded me. In my dream, I knew that my mother’s spirit was with me. I could feel her all around me, but I couldn’t visually see her.
Within minutes, my mother’s physical body appeared. She walked over to me, put her arms around me, and gently hugged me. In my dream, I sensed that her soul made peace with my soul. It was definitely on a spiritual realm. As my mother and I embraced, I started crying. It was emotional and beautiful at the same time. When I awoke from my dream, the tears were still dripping down my cheeks.
Following this enlightening dream, it has helped me to forgive my mother for her past abuse. I strongly believe that my soul desires me to be at peace with my mom and to release all resentment and negativity. This is freeing and liberating!
A core component of trauma recovery takes place on a spiritual level. It goes well beyond traditional therapy or basic life coaching. Trauma pierces the soul. It is like soul murder.
Due to the long-term consequences of narcissistic abuse, toxic relationships, sexual assaults, and child abuse, the missing piece of the puzzle is doing soul work. Traditional therapists and/or Certified Trauma Recovery Coaches need to be able to work with survivors on a spiritual level (not just physical or emotional) because narcissistic abuse and trauma are truly a form of soul defilement.
It requires to reconnect yourself to your soul that has been disconnected. I refer to this as “Soul Rescue.” For over two years, I’ve felt nudged to write a sixth book with this title. To create a nonfiction book that takes a deep dive into healing trauma. Not just physically, emotionally, or relationally, but especially spiritually. This is definitely on my bucket list to pursue.
10 Signs You Are Spiritually Awakening:
1. You desire to know your purpose for being here on earth.
2. You start soul-searching, which involves a process of introspection.
3. You are more aware of toxic people and toxic energies around you.
4. You experience the Dark Night of the Soul.
5. You crave for inner peace, solitude, and being in nature.
6. You feel deeper empathy and compassion towards others.
7. You have a drastic shift in your perspectives and prior beliefs.
8. You experience heightened intuition and a “knowing” of certain things even though you may not have seen it or heard it.
9. You step into your authentic self and become a truth seeker.
10. You experience divine signs, synchronicities, visions, dreams, supernatural phenomena, and major transformation.
If you have been in a toxic relationship, suffered narcissistic abuse, or trauma, did you personally have a spiritual awakening? If so, please share in the comments and let's continue this intriguing discussion.