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  • Writer's pictureDana Arcuri

How to Starve a Narcissist

Have you been dealing with a malignant narcissist, flying monkeys, or toxic people? Are you tired of being manipulated, bullied, and psychologically abused? If so, today's post is going to give you helpful tips to learn how to starve the narcissist.

First, let's define what is Narcissistic Personality Disorder. According to Mayo Clinic, "Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism. A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them.”

Words to Define Core Traits of a Narcissist:

· Delusional & Domineering

· Sadistic & Sinister

· Passive Aggressive

· Hostile & Hateful

· Bitter & Vindictive

· Pathological Liar

· Vengeful & Spiteful

· Cruel & Covert

· Control Freaks

· Evil to the Core

There is no such thing as reconciling with a covert narcissist, flying monkeys, or toxic people. Why? Because they haven't repented, nor turned about from their chronic, manipulative, cruel words, actions, and behaviors. They are not sorry for hurting you.

Their intention is to gain more narcissistic supply from YOU. They don’t genuinely love you. Their motive is to destroy you, your life, your health, and your reputation. Rather, they love ABUSING you. And treating you like a doormat.

The best way to starve a narcissist and their enablers is to stop giving them an emotional reaction to their nasty behaviors. Most narcs are on a power trip. They crave incredible amounts of attention. They want to be the center of attention 24/7 as if they are a god or goddess. They have a huge ego and sense of superiority.

If they don’t receive this admiration, loyalty, and utmost attention, they will have a two-year-old temper tantrum with an emotional meltdown. Prepare yourself for them to freak out, flip out, and mentally lose it!

Narcissists need people to be enthralled by them so that they can feed off the attention and reverence. Once their facade has worn thin and their false mask slips off, you can start to see the narcissist for who they are. They are an emotional vampire who wants to suck the joy, peace, and all positive energy out of you.

How to Starve a Narcissist & Flying Monkeys:

1. Do not participate in their drama.

2. Do not give them an emotional reaction.

3. Set your healthy boundaries and don't ever back down.

4. Keep all interactions limited and brief.

5. If he/she tries to manipulate you or blame you, walk away.

6. Do not argue with them. It fuels narc supply. (JADE Technique)

7. Do not explain yourself to them. They don't care. (JADE Technique)

8. Do not try to justify yourself to them. They deny everything. (JADE Technique)

9. Don't bother trying to defend yourself to them. (It fuels narc supply. (JADE Technique)

10. If they provoke you, don't take the bait. Ignore them.

11. Go grey rock, which means minimal engagement with them.

12. Or go no contact with them, which is key to healing abuse & your mental health.

13. Focus on YOUR own life, happiness, peace of mind, and future.

When you break free from a narcissist, you reclaim your sanity. It's liberating! Please know that it’s not your fault that you’ve suffered narcissistic abuse. Most importantly, it is not your responsibility to fix them or change them. They only one you are responsible for is you, your own life, and your trauma recovery.

When you walk away from these toxic dynamics, you will successfully starve the narcissist, flying monkeys, and toxic folks. Give yourself time to heal, time to process everything, and safe space to work through your trauma recovery journey. You may need to seek trauma informed support by professionals experienced and trained in narcissistic abuse, flying monkeys, psychological abuse, and the trauma recovery process.

Whether you are in the early stages of no contact or you are many years of being free from a narcissist and flying monkeys, I congratulate you. Well done, my friend. You WON! 👏 💯

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