Feel It to Heal It: Hope for Your Trauma Recovery
What is trauma? Trauma has been defined as an “overwhelming life-altering event, resulting in pervasive physical, psychological, or emotional distress.” Generally speaking, trauma is a stressful life event often accompanied by shock and a survival response. Traumatic events have primary effects not only on our overall ability to function, but it can also destroy an individual’s fundamental assumptions about the safety of the world, the value of self, and society as a whole.
Types of Extreme Trauma May Include:
Domestic violence
Sexual trauma
Being the victim of a violent crime
Child neglect and abuse
Military combat
Narcissistic Abuse
Sibling Abuse
Being stalked and bullied by a predator
Living through a natural disaster or war
Prolonged physical torture or kidnapping
Unexpected death or loss of a loved one
Crime, burglary, or a gunshot accident
Vehicular or industrial accidents
Being attacked by a wild animal
Seeing another person hurt or a dead body
Medical abuse and negligence
Less-extreme Types of Trauma May Include:
Divorce or a breakup
Work or job stress
Financial hardship
Health issues
Traffic jams
Family conflicts
Betrayal by a loved one or friend
Homelessness
A common response to abuse and trauma is to deny it, conceal it, and minimize it. One reason why some survivors may bury or run away from their abuse is because it was extremely painful, uncomfortable, and stressful. It may have caused you fear, depression, panic attacks, PTSD, anxiety, or the fight, flight, and freeze response.
If you were much younger or if you may have dissociated during the traumatic event, there could be no memories of your abuse or fragmented memories of what took place. For some survivors, they can recall some of the details of what they experienced. Yet, they may also have some grey areas of confusion. This is normal for trauma survivors.
There is no shame or blame for not remembering each detail pertaining to your abuse. Remember that it may have been a violent ordeal for you. It may have caused you to disconnect to yourself; body, mind, and soul. Give yourself an extra dose of compassion, empathy, and TLC.
Trauma runs deep. It can turn your life upside down. It can greatly impact not only you and your health, but also each of your relationships and your ability to function.
Everything is made up of energy, including trauma. What most people are not aware of is that trauma is linked to negative energy inside of your body.
It's common for abuse survivors to not realize that they have unhealed trauma. This is most certainly the case for grown adults who have not sought emotional support with a trauma-informed mental health professional for past abuse, dysfunctional relationships, accidents, domestic violence, and childhood trauma.
According to trauma experts, past abuse is connected to hypervigilance, anxiety, depression, addictions, toxic shame, being stuck in a vicious cycle of unhealed trauma, and using maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Past abuse and trauma can show up as migraines, chronic pain, insomnia, brain fog, memory loss, chest pain, dizziness, lack of concentration, addictions, autoimmune disorders, CPTSD, stomachaches, migraines, and other medical conditions. Trauma is not just in your brain. Rather, it is within each cell within your body. Another name for it is cellular memory and epigenetics.
Are You Stuck in a Trauma Response?
Whether you spring into fight, flight, freeze, or even fawn mode, your survival mechanism is to avoid the danger and return to a sense of control. During traumatic events, it is common for your body to be flooded in cortisol and various hormones. Your body is on high alert to keep you safe.
The stress response can trigger instantaneously, but how soon your body comes back to normal varies from person to person. On average, it takes 20 to 30 minutes for your physiology to return to normal and for your breathing to slow down.
However, some people can become stuck in a trauma response. When individuals do not work through their trauma through therapy, coaching, self-help groups, mediation, breathing practices, or other holistic tools, they can often get stuck in a rut and revert to unhealthy coping strategies.
Maladaptive coping behaviors, such as alcohol and drug abuse, are common in trauma survivors. On an unconscious level, survivors are desperate to numb and dull their pain. According to credible research, 70% of adolescents receiving treatment for substance abuse had a history of trauma.
For anyone struggling with addictions, I strongly recommend, Dr. Gabor Mate' who is a trauma and addiction expert. He states in his book, "Not all addictions are rooted in abuse or trauma, but I do believe they can all be traced to painful experience. A hurt is at the centre of all addictive behaviours. It is present in the gambler, the Internet addict, the compulsive shopper and the workaholic. The wound may not be as deep and the ache not as excruciating, and it may even be entirely hidden—but it’s there. As we’ll see, the effects of early stress or adverse experiences directly shape both the psychology and the neurobiology of addiction in the brain.” (Dr. Gabor Mate, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction)
You cannot heal trauma by burying it, stuffing it, minimizing it, or running from it. You can't heal from abuse by denying it, hiding it, or staying in abusive, toxic relationships.
When you feel your human emotions, both positive and negative, you can start to heal. One day at a time. One breath at a time. One brave moment at a time.
While it may take your effort, consistency, and hard work to heal from your trauma, it is so very worth it. Ultimately, by doing the grief work and trauma work, there is hope for happiness, better health, improved emotional regulation, less pain, peace of mind, living out your divine purpose, and a much brighter future.
Do You Need Emotional Support for Your Trauma Recovery?
I am a passionate Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, Advocate, Author, and Speaker who is also a trauma survivor. I have a BIG heart for abuse survivors. I offer trauma-informed, safe space for men and women to heal their trauma on their own timeline.
There is no single pathway to the trauma recovery. Instead, there are many different holistic modalities to pave the way from barely surviving to fully thriving. Similar to a garden, healing trauma requires removing the weeds in your life that keep you stuck. An old mindset. False beliefs. Toxic relationships. Physical and emotional pain that are blocking you from fully healing.
Together, we can weed out what no longer serves you. With nurturing, insight, and practical tools, you can embrace your true essence, which brings you back to wholeness.
While I am not a therapist, nor do I give advice, I am more like a gentle guide, mentor, and teacher. We are equals. In harmony, I walk beside you in a nonjudgmental way, as I offer you practical tools to process and heal your trauma.
Despite the unspeakable things that you have suffered, there is always hope for healing, happiness, and peace of mind. Healing your trauma means that you reconnect to yourself; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We will take a deep dive into your belief system, perception, and determine what is no longer serving you and your highest good.
Here's What You Will Receive when Coaching with Me:
Private one-on-one coaching with me via Zoom
Confidentiality
Emotional support by me
A good listener who validates you
Safe space to unpack your trauma without judgment
Somatic Embodiment to calm your nervous system
Explore a body-mind connection to recover; physically, emotionally, spiritually, & relationally
Set realistic recovery goals to increase your quality of life
Inspiration and motivation from me; your coach & mentor
Professional resources to support you and your healing journey
Steps to Sign Up for Coaching
1. Provide your electronic payment name. I accept Zelle, Venmo, and Stripe.
2. Provide your full name and email address linked to your electronic payment.
3. I will send you an invoice.
4. Pay the invoice.
5. After I receive your full payment, I will email you the client forms to complete.
6. Complete the client intake forms and email them to me.
7. After I receive all of your completed documents for coaching, I will schedule your first one hour session with me on Zoom.
8. If you don't have Zoom, you will need to create a free account.
The reason why emotional support by a trauma-informed professional is essential is because it's important for you to be heard, seen, and understood. To process, face, address, and work through your past abuse, trauma, grief, and losses. In addition, it is helpful to work with a compassionate, experienced Certified Trauma Recovery Coach who will be there for you in safe space to encourage you, respect you, and give you hope for your healing journey.
“Healing is like an onion. As you process through one layer of trauma to release the pain and heal, a new layer will surface. One layer after another layer will bring up new issues to focus on. Pace yourself. Only focus on one layer at a time.” ― Dana Arcuri, Soul Cry: Releasing & Healing the Wounds of Trauma