Inner Healing for Trauma Recovery

In 2020 through the start of 2021, I had taken a step back. I carved out time away from blogging and my YouTube channel to reflect, refuel, and re-evaluate where I was headed. To clarify my goals and life purpose. To continue the hard work of my inner healing.

Trauma recovery is not overnight. It does not entail a final destination. Instead, trauma is complicated. It gets messy. Yet, we can give ourselves grace to find our way out of the darkness. One brave step at a time.

My trauma includes child neglect and abuse, statutory rape, sexual assault by my sister's husband, narcissistic abuse, and long-term psychological abuse from my toxic birth family. It's not an easy pill to swallow.

The truth about trauma is that it's not a onetime thing. Rather, it is what survivors face for a lifetime. Flashbacks. Triggers. Nightmares. Chronic physical pain. Disassociation. Hypervigilance. Complex PTSD. Insomnia. The list of symptoms goes on and on. They are each a common sign of the trauma response.

Oftentimes, abuse survivors had their trauma denied, ignored, minimized, or trivialized. Writing is a big part of healing. It gives us the opportunity to define the truth. We confess: This did happen to us. It was that bad. It was the fault and responsibility of the adult.

I love this inspiring quote by Danielle Bernock who says, "Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.”

If you are an abuse survivor, please know that you deserve to heal. Take the necessary time to process what you suffered. To validate your own pain. Despite what anyone else says, (whether they deny what happened, blame you, or shame you) any form of physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual abuse is evil. It is wrong on every level. And it's criminal. An important part of inner healing is to break the silence of abuse. To no longer be censored. To have the courage to tell your true story even if it's to one trustworthy person. Another vital component of the healing process is to create healthy boundaries. To stand firm in your

healing process. For those who refuse to respect you or your boundaries, you must release them from your life. Otherwise, their manipulation, gaslighting, deception, and abuse will continue.

When toxic people manipulate you or provoke you, do not take the bait. Never engage with harmful people. It is unproductive. You cannot fix them, nor change them. Protect yourself. Love them from a long distance. Practice "gray rock." Or better yet, go full no contact to be free from abusive relationships. Based on the fact that we are each unique people with different circumstances, our healing journey may not look alike. What works for one person doesn't always work the same for another. Do whatever works best for you. To consider various forms of healing, including professional therapy, Trauma Recovery Coaching, EMDR, EFT, Somatic Therapy, Reiki Therapy, and bodywork.

Other than traditional talk therapy, I'm a big fan of pure essential oils, herbal remedies, massage therapy, self-care, spending time in nature, and gentle stretching. We do have the innate ability to heal ourselves. It's empowering when we take back control of our bodies and minds.

Inner healing means that we love, value, and respect ourselves enough that we don't expect anything less from others. We deserve to be treated with kindness, empathy, dignity, and compassion. For those who won't change negative behaviors, bless and release.

When we bravely start a healing journey, we not only heal ourselves, but we can heal others. This is my WHY for writing books, especially my fifth one Soul Cry: Releasing & Healing the Wounds of Trauma.

To link arms with other survivors to educate, advocate, build awareness, and to offer emotional support.

If you are on a healing journey from abuse or trauma, know that it's not the abuser or predator who made you stronger. They didn't. Rather, they tried to break you. They violated you!

Do you know who made you stronger and braver? YOU did! You are a badass warrior. An incredible survivor. You overcame great obstacles. YOU did it!

Even if it seems slow, the kindest act of self-love is to begin to heal. You are doing the hard work. Stay the course, my friend, and fight the good fight. Beyond a shadow of doubt, you are worthy it and so is your inner healing.