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  • Dana Arcuri

20 Signs of Toxic Narcissistic Patterns & NPD Statistics

Updated: Jun 3


On Wednesday, June 1, 2022, it was World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. As an abuse survivor and trauma-informed expert, my goal is to support other survivors and to build awareness about how insidious narcissistic abuse truly is.


Narcissistic abuse refers to the emotional, physical, sexual, financial, or spiritual forms of abuse that a narcissist inflicts on others. This abuse can range from mild putdowns to severe, life-threatening violence. If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you may frequently feel confused, judged, betrayed, condemned, ostracized, or alone.


At times, you might even question your own sanity and conscious reality. The ROOT of the problem is not you. It is THEM; the evil narcissist.


The Narcissist Has Repetitive Patterns. This list of Toxic Narcissistic Patterns is Only a Glimpse of how Insidious it is. It may include:


  1. Dominance (They’re control freaks!)

  2. Manipulation

  3. Intimidation

  4. Extreme self-absorption & egotistical

  5. Emotional coercion

  6. Gaslighting

  7. Bullying you into silence & stalking you

  8. Withholding information

  9. Dishonesty

  10. Severe selfishness

  11. Guilt-mongering

  12. Rejection

  13. Baiting & projection

  14. Intense jealousy

  15. Smear campaigns

  16. Retaliation

  17. Spreading malicious rumors

  18. Hoovering & love bombing

  19. Illegal actions

  20. Stonewalling & deflection

The Body Keeps the Score & NPD Statistics


The statistics of narcissistic abuse are quite shocking to hear. Yet, for a survivor, such as myself, after the horror of learning these facts, I found a moment of peace to learn that I am not alone. I am not the only person who suffered hideous abuse by the narcissist and flying monkeys (AKA my narc mother and abusive siblings).


Let’s get the facts straight. I am not crazy. I am not too sensitive. I am not a drama queen. I don’t need to “just get over it” or "just move on." And neither are you crazy, too sensitive, or a drama queen/king. You don't need to "just get over it" or "just move on."


Based on the credible facts by trauma expert’s, including Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, we must understand that abuse survivors cannot “just move on.” The survivors can’t heal trauma by ignoring it, burying it, denying it, suppressing it, or repressing their past abuse. Survivors cannot recover from trauma by avoiding their painful emotions and memories. Instead, they sit with it. They process it. They observe whatever trauma response may come up for them, such as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, which is a normal trauma response.


The survivor bravely admits the truth about what comes up for them. Even though they may want to run away from these horrible memories, triggers, and flashbacks. Even though it’s heavy and difficult. Even though it may send them into a hellish panic attack.


Simply stated, healing trauma happens by feeling it. By educating ourselves about the trauma recovery facts. By receiving emotional support by a trauma-informed professional who is experienced in NPD, educated about NPD, and knowledgeable about narcissistic abuse.


“Trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past. It is also the imprint left by that experience on the mind, brain, and body.” ~ Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score


I am a courageous survivor of narcissistic abuse, child neglect and abuse, sexual abuse, sibling abuse, and compounded trauma. My goal for my website, career as a trauma-informed expert, and for my YouTube channel is to educate other "survivors" as they transition to become a “thriver.”


Education is our best way to gain wisdom, knowledge, and credible facts pertaining to NPD and narcissistic abuse. It can be incredibly therapeutic for us, especially to recover from trauma.


What I had endured was without doubt mental abuse, physical abuse, and financial abuse by my narcissistic mother and toxic siblings. This leads to important information that must be stated here.


WHY DID THE VICTIM STAY? This is a very common question. However, when we look at that question, there are some people who dump toxic shame, guilt, and the burden of narcissistic abuse onto the survivor, which is inappropriate and re-traumatizing.


A much better question is “WHY DIDN'T THE ABUSER STOP? WHY DID THEY TORTURE THE SCAPEGOAT FOR DECADES?"


Victims are scared for a million reasons. People don’t know what they don’t know. Most of the survivors of narcissistic abuse were completely unaware of the terminology during their early stages of the awful abuse by a narcissist. Some people may have a similar experience as myself in which they didn’t discover their own parent, spouse, partner, or another person was a malignant narcissist, until much later in life.


According to statistics, up to 5% of people suffer from narcissistic personality disorder, also called NPD. Many people have narcissistic traits. However, narcissistic personality disorder is more severe. It must be diagnosed by a licensed mental health professional.


Around 75% of people who are diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men. The results showed that men scored higher when it comes to the following traits:

  • Lack of empathy: Men scored 83.1% higher than women who scored 72.3%.

  • Sense of entitlement: Men scored higher at 82.6% where women scored 77.1%.

  • Exploitation: Men scored higher with a score of 65.5%, while women scored 55.7%.

The narcissist statistics show that women take over when it comes to the following characteristics:

  • Envy: Women scored 78.4% while men scored 72.6%.

  • Arrogance: Women scored higher at 42.0% while men scored at 35.7%.

Researchers also analyzed people with NPD and investigated the correlation between narcissism and other disorders.

  • Around 40% of people with NPD develop a substance abuse disorder.

  • 40% of people with NPD also suffer from an anxiety disorder.

  • 28.6% of people with NPD suffer from a mood disorder.

Statistics show that around 40% of NPD sufferers who seek treatment, end up dropping out of therapy. Progress can happen very slowly with narcissists. Based on their lack of being truthful, transparent, and authentic, they might be discouraged or feel uncomfortable during therapy. They resist change.


This drives the narcissist to stop their therapy. They will revert to their old, toxic behavioral habits. Therefore, they are not capable of being helped, which keeps them in a vicious loop of preying on innocent people and habitually hurting them.

Joy, fulfillment and happiness await you in your new life chapter. This chapter does not involve the narcissist. This new season of life requires you to muster up enough strength to cut the toxic ties with a narcissist; full no contact and/or family estrangement. Keep in mind that for most survivors of narcissistic abuse, after exhausting all efforts to seek every option, the last resort was to break free from the narcissist and flying monkeys. Nobody just walks away from loving, nurturing, gentle, respectful relationships. We walked away because it was our LAST RESORT.


It involves, self-love, healing, self-compassion and a healthy secure attachment style. Once you heal your trauma bond, you start seeing things more clearly. You take back your power, healthy boundaries, and peace of mind. It is so liberating and empowering!!!


If you are a survivor of narcissistic abuse and you're interested to learn more about everything pertaining to NPD, narcissistic abuse, and the healing process for your trauma recovery, check out my sixth book, SOUL RESCUE: How to Break Free from Narcissistic Abuse & Heal Trauma. Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Soul-Rescue-Break-Narcissistic-Trauma/dp/0991076893/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1637964686&sr=8-1&pldnSite=1


If you need emotional support by someone who's experienced, educated, and who's "been there and healed that," I am a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach who specializes in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, Family Estrangement, Sibling Abuse, Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, CPTSD, Emotional Trauma, Holistic Modalities, Somatic Embodiment, plus so much more.

You may learn more about the therapeutic benefits of Certified Trauma Recovery Coaching on my website. https://www.danaarcuri.com/copy-of-about


For my single coaching prices and coaching packages: https://www.danaarcuri.com/prices



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