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  • Writer's pictureDana Arcuri

10 Reasons Flying Monkeys Defend the Narcissist

The #1 covert tactic that a malignant narcissist uses to hurt the scapegoat is to recruit flying monkeys to do their dirty work. It is abuse by proxy. The flying monkeys gang up on the scapegoat in effort to silence them, control them, and bully them.

The narcissist has been so cunningly clever that they fool the flying monkeys about who they truly are. The narcissist is like Jekyll and Hyde. They have two different personas. To the flying monkeys, they act syrupy sweet. Yet to the scapegoat the narcissist is cruel, manipulative, and outright psychologically abusive.

The flying monkeys could be the narcissist’s friends, children, co-workers, spouse, or relatives. These flying monkeys will defend, protect, and fight on behalf of the narcissist.

10 Reasons Why Flying Monkeys Defend the Malignant Narcissist:

1. Lack of Awareness - The flying monkeys lack awareness. Due to their inability to fully grasp their own reality and the negative behaviors of the narcissist, they are completely oblivious to how malicious the narcissist is.

2. Trauma Bond – According to Medical News Today, “A trauma bond is a psychological response to abuse. It occurs when the abused person forms an unhealthy bond with the person who abuses them." The flying monkey who is experiencing abuse by the narcissist may develop sympathy for this toxic person, which becomes reinforced by cycles of abuse, followed by remorse. Another name for a trauma bond is Stockholm Syndrome.

3. Co-dependent Relationship – To understand codependency, let’s first consider the definition of what it means. According to Meriam, “Codependency is a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another person who is affected with a pathological condition.” This is why it is so hard for flying monkeys to leave their unhealthy relationship with a malignant narcissist. The co-dependent flying monkeys sacrifice their own lives, mental health, emotions, needs, and safety. They don't have the guts to end this unhealthy relationship.

4. Idolatry – The flying monkeys place the narcissist onto a high pedestal. They worship the malignant narcissist as if that person were a god or some type of king or queen. The flying monkeys are dedicated, devoted, and loyal to the narcissist, which is a form of idolatry.

5. Denial & Dysfunction – Another reason flying monkeys defend a narcissist is because they live in denial and dysfunction. All relationships with a narcissist are dysfunctional. There is nothing healthy or positive that can result from these destructive relationships. The flying monkeys live in denial about who the narc really is. They don’t want to believe this toxic person intentionally hurts them, manipulates them, gaslights them, and uses them like dirty trash. The term dysfunctional is defined as "abnormal or impaired functioning" on the part of an individual person, between people in any sort of relationship, or amongst members of a family. Poor functioning refers to both behavior and relationships that aren't working and have one or more negative, unhealthy aspects to them, such as poor communication or frequent conflict.

6. Fear Factor – A huge factor involved with why flying monkeys protect narcissists is rooted to fear. They’re terrified of being rejected, bullied, abused, discarded, or harmed by the narcissist. Therefore, they stay loyal to the narc in order to win their favor and to stay on their good side.

7. Follow the Money Trial Sometimes flying monkeys have a sinister motive for being loyal to the narcissist. If the narcissist has wealth, power, or any type of influence that can be beneficial, the flying monkeys will withstand the toxic narc because they want to receive the family inheritance, to be in the trust fund, and/or to receive all forms of monetary gain. Money is a big motivation for them! Once the narcissist passes away, the flying monkeys not only take their share of the inheritance, but they lie, steal, and cheat the scapegoat from their inheritance/trust fund. If you are a scapegoat or black sheep of the family, understand that if you are a beneficiary to the narcissist or another parent, you may need to seek legal counsel to fight for your fair share of the inheritance.

8. Psychologically Unstable – Another reason why flying monkeys may defend the narcissist is because they’re psychologically unstable. They do not have a sound mind and they’re quite toxic. Some of the flying monkeys can be a malignant narcissist, sociopath, or have a personality disorder.

9. Insecure Cowards – The flying monkeys are insecure cowards. They are known for being followers and people-pleasers. Due to their inadequacies and lack of confidence, they feel powerless to the narcissist. Therefore, they continue to play nice with a narcissist and follow their orders.

10. Brainwashed – Oftentimes, the narcissist is a master of manipulation. They are an expert con artist who has fooled the flying monkeys. This goes back to co-dependency. The flying monkeys are enablers for the narcissist. They’re brainwashed by the narc and are blind to what is taking place. Despite mental abuse, physical abuse, gaslighting, and hoovering that they may experience from the narcissist, they won’t admit the truth because it hurts deeply. The flying monkeys always fall for the narc’s sinister tricks; hook, line, and sinker! One of the top keys to healing is to walk away from abusive relationships. Understand that your healthy boundaries are important. Consider it like an invisible fence between you and other people. Boundaries are a way to keep you safe and to have peace of mind.

Have you personally experienced flying monkeys? If so, are they your siblings, parents, relatives, co-workers, ex-partner, or friend? Why do you believe the flying monkeys defend and stay loyal to the narcissist?

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