Instead of receiving kindness and compassion, a few women lashed out at me. They used Christianese to faith-shame me, silence me, and project their own false beliefs onto me. Mind you, I never asked for advice, nor was I talking about religion.
It forced me to take a step back. To intentionally take a Facebook break in order to find my own peace of mind. In doing so, I spent time being mindful. To be still. To reflect on what matters most to me.
Self-care is a big part of finding peace of mind. It means that we step away from the drama. We maintain our healthy boundaries. And we give ourselves permission to care for our own selves; physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.
As I embraced solitude, I enjoyed birdwatching. Journaling. Listening to soft ocean waves on Sharper Image, which has dozens of nature sounds that are soothing. When a flood of calm washed over me, I had an awakening. Suddenly, I could see things more clearly. It was an awesome epiphany!
At the root of those flippant comments filled with platitudes was pride and judgment. The two females who tried to act all "holier than thou" were not the least bit empathic. While this disturbed me, it also saddened me. Why? Because this is not what Jesus would do.
What truly stood out the most to me was that over the past few years, Facebook has been extremely draining for me. It's no longer a pleasant platform for me as an author, speaker, survivor, and advocate. After wrestling with this, I have come to make a major decision. I am releasing what no longer serves me. I choose to let go of this burden that's weighed me down for far too long.
Ultimately, I've come to realize that the person I was over 10 years ago is no longer who I am today. I have been on a transformational journey. I have significantly reinforced healthy boundaries in my life; face to face and online.
My purpose, passions, and priorities are not what they used to be when I first started Facebook. Therefore, instead of placing my positive energy where it is not enhancing my life, I chose to redirect my positive energy towards what lifts me higher.
One brilliant nugget of wisdom that I gained was that we do not need to be everything to everyone. We are only one human being. It is not our responsibility to meet other people's unrealistic expectations. Only they can be accountable for their words, thoughts, and actions. We each must be accountable for our own lives.
This means that we take ownership of our own stories. We don't let others narrate our stories. Just like what Brene' Brown shares in her inspiring quote, we show up, dress up, and we choose to be real. Despite naysayers, we stay true to ourselves. We are authentic and courageous.
"Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen." ~ Brene' Brown
Where are you placing your time, energy, resources, and talents? If you are feeling overwhelmed by Facebook, you are not alone. In statistics, 40% of adults on Facebook are experiencing depression, bullying, isolation, loneliness, anxiety, and a low self-worth.
Reclaim Your Peace of Mind:
- Awaken to what is going on around you.
- Become mindful to your present reality.
- Build awareness about how social media negatively influences you and steals your peace of mind.
- Move into acceptance that you cannot change others; only yourself.
- Create healthy boundaries; in person and online.
- Use wisdom and discernment to know what is draining you and your joy.
- Release emotional vampires (AKA narcissists, flying monkeys, & toxic people).
- Do not be silent to keep other people comfortable. Speak up!
- Focus on what is edifying you.
- Seek clarity on who and what is encouraging and inspiring you.
- Determine what is working good and what's no longer working well for you.
- Let go of what hinders your voice, purpose, peace, and talents.
When we redirect our energy towards what is in harmony with our body, mind, and soul, it increases our peace of mind, happiness, and quality of life. Today, give yourself the respect, care, and love that you deserve.
"I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." ~ Gandhi