You know what I'm referring to...
When the medical report is not good. When stress is mounting higher. When obstacles are coming at you fast. When each day seems to become a battle for survival. When negative circumstances have you anxious about your future.
Perhaps, stress would be more manageable if we didn't have to carry such a heavy load? It's one thing to have a few challenges to work through. It's totally different when we're continually adding one stress on top of another stress. When it becomes intense. When the weight of it is simply too much. When sooner or later it all comes crashing down.
The past few weeks have been so difficult. My mom started back on her chemotherapy. There's a new cancerous brain lesion. As distressful as it is to know cancer cells are growing, it breaks my heart to watch my mother's health diminish. The negative side effects of chemo are causing her nausea, vomiting, headaches, and endless symptoms.
It's never made logical sense to me why traditional doctor's insist that chemotherapy and/or radiation is the best cancer treatment. I find it extremely barbaric that Western medicine promotes potentially fatal invasive treatments that are medically proven to cause cancer. (Don't take my word for it. Please do your own research. Become your own health advocate.)
Yesterday was my husband's appointment with a hematologist/oncologist. Both, Tony and I were anxious to discuss our concerns with his specialist. What truly impressed me about this visit was that his doctor spent a lot of time with us covering a variety of important topics. While she did say that Tony's blood work revealed a bone marrow condition, we didn't get all of the answers. It's too soon and additional testing is necessary.
In the meanwhile, I'm still waiting for my test results from last week. This morning, I decided to log into my patient account online. I had hoped my results would be listed for me to see. Although it hasn't been added, I accidentally tripped upon my old medical tests. What I read sent my heart racing!
Good grief, my blood work in 2014 was abnormal! Yet, no one informed me. Geesh! What is it with doctor's offices who don't communicate important findings with their patients? Here it is three years later and now I discover by sheer accident that my platelet count is high, I may have anemia, and my body may not be able to fight infections.
It's like one more piece of a puzzle has me going in circles. A never ending mystery. There's never a resolution. Despite how many medical tests we may have or how many doctors we go to in order to improve our health, we somehow find ourselves backed into a corner. We reach a dead end.
Which brings me right back to the primary reason I ditched Western medicine in the first place. It promotes sick care; not health care. It always seems to lead to more complications. Added potent prescriptions. Surgery. Radiation exposure via X-rays or MRIs. The vicious cycle goes on and on.
Oh, and let's not forget the horrible interactions or negative side effects to pharmaceuticals that can lead to additional medical conditions. By far, that is the exact reason I had jumped off the vicious cycle in 2010. When I had been prescribed powerful combinations of medicines that became toxic in my body. Cymbalta. Benzodiazepines. Cipro. Prozac. Flexeril. Deadly drugs that ultimately spiraled my health out of control. A cocktail of harsh chemicals that landed me in the hospital after attempting suicide.
I know that I'm digressing. The key point I'm sharing is this: Based on my personal experience with Western medicine, I try within my power to avoid doctors, avoid medicine, and avoid invasive procedures. It didn't work for me. It failed me. It nearly killed me.
While the average person may not comprehend how hellish the ordeal had been for me, trust that when you reach bottom the way I had, you never want to return there, again. Had it not been for my dramatic lifestyle change to practice holistic alternatives and clean nutrition, I strongly doubt that I would be alive today.
As I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that my mom, husband, and myself are encountering serious adversity, especially pertaining to our wellness, my entire being is wrestling. Deep inside, I know that I must continue walking my unique path to healing and improved health that focuses on the whole person. We are not merely a symptom. Rather, we are a body, mind, and spirit.
Today, my soul cries out...
When we lose our health, we lose our joy. When we lose our joy, the enemy can slip in. His motive is to kill, steal, and destroy what God promised for us. The Lord promised us abundant life. I declare, I want abundant life! I yearn for all of my heavenly Father's blessings.
I seek wisdom. I ask God to give me courage to find the most gentle, natural options. I wait on His divine provision and clarity. I take full responsibility for myself, my body, and what I eat. I embrace self-advocacy and my resourcefulness. I empower myself with knowledge, truth, and credible facts.
As I was soul-searching this morning, I sensed within my spirit something important to practice. We must not permit what we can't do to prevent us from doing what we can do. My prayer is that you will not allow your hardships to get in the way of receiving all of the goodness that God has in store for you. To be proactive. To consider simple solutions. To listen to that soft voice within you that will lead you forward.
When your soul cries out, trust that you are never alone. My friend, all you need to do is call out and Jesus is near you. He hears you. He knows your struggles. He will give you strength for the battle. When you can no longer walk, He will carry you.
"Out of the depths, I have cried to You, O Lord." Psalm 130:1 (NAS)