In preparation for my speech scheduled on Saturday morning at the Women's Power Surge Conference, I was in the midst of overwhelm. Part of my issue was drinking coffee in the late afternoon (I'm extra sensitive), sleeping in a hotel away from home (I missed my cozy bed), and I was a nervous wreck.
Can I be real? Public speaking has always been a ginormous fear of mine. Regardless of taking college classes for public speaking and having over 20 years of speaking for various events, it still had me in the midst of overwhelm.
On Friday evening, my mind raced. I had a dozen troubling thoughts whirling in my brain. Would I be able to pull this off without my knees shaking? Would my microphone function correctly? What if the man handling my PowerPoint messed up? What if I become tongue tied and couldn't speak clearly?
By the time it reached 2:00 AM, I sensed God stirring. He revealed that despite my doubts, uncertainties, and fears, I have already overcome countless frightening circumstances in my past.
Suddenly, He reminded me that I used to work in the operating room assisting surgeons with trauma surgery. Instantly, I thought, “If you can work as a surgical technician in trauma surgery that’s a life and death matter, you can most certainly speak in front of 170 women.”
Then the Lord reminded me of my hellish ordeal when I experienced wicked withdrawals from potent medicine that spiraled my life out of control. Christ impressed upon me that if I could overcome my own near death dilemma than I could bravely walk onto that stage to give strangers hope, healing, and encouragement.
Despite only sleeping for two hours, I awoke Saturday morning with refreshed boldness. I realized that in the greater scheme of things, I needed to get out of my own way.
Ultimately, I was merely a vessel meant to shine the light on how faithful our amazing God is. And my rock bottom story was how the Lord took my painful mess and transformed it into His glorious message.
Today, is something paralyzing you in fear? Have your doubts or uncertainties prevented you from walking in God’s purpose?
If so, I pray that you will remind yourself of each setback and trial that you’ve overcome. And then boldly march forward to do whatever Christ has called you to do.
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)