So as I process what's happening all around me, I come to a better understanding of who I truly am. Truthfully, this can be scary at times. Moments of despair when I face my
frailties. When there is no hiding my head in the sand pretending that my flaws or
weaknesses don't exist.
Instead, I openly distinguish both good and bad. My strengths and my weaknesses. To
acknowledge that I am broken. Yet I am also a brave and faithful warrior. A woman of courage who knows her painful past and who isn't afraid to share it. Because within those dark pages, I've been pruned and shaped into a new person.
Layers upon layers have been stripped away. Oftentimes, it was like God took a hedge trimmer to pull out the weeds. It hurt like a scorching fire. To lose what you once held dear to your heart. To experience opposition of every shape and size. For your faith to be tested like gold. To battle your will for the Lord's will when you finally reach a sweet surrender.
While the battle was fierce, it opened up my eyes to a new boldness. To rise up to become transparent. To simply walk in authenticity. To not be anyone other than who Christ created me to be; a diamond in the rough meant to shine brilliantly.
Somewhere along this transforming journey, I came to a new path where I could see-through the facade others hide behind. A game where they've become entrenched for so long that they don't realize they're wearing a mask. Their masquerade may disguise who they are inside. A hurting, broken soul who feels trapped to continue this charade.
What I've noticed this year is some people in my life who resent my transparency. They liked the old me better than the new me. They prefer that I continue riding this merry go round in a vicious cycle of denial. At it's best is deception. At it's worst is pure evil.
Beyond an issue of them overstepping my boundaries is the concern that they can't handle when I'm real. For when I am real, I speak the truth. When I am real, I share those rock bottom moments that expose those slimy dark places. The hurting heart that was slashed open. The rocky marriage falling apart. The temptations luring us into the web of the enemy who wants nothing more than to kill, steal, and destroy each one of us.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10 (ESV)
My friends, if there is nothing else you gain from this blog I pray it is this: When we are real and share our failings, it helps others to know that they are not alone. When we expose are brokenness to walk in authenticity it opens doors for those around us to do the same. It's truth-telling about all areas within our lives.
No, we are not perfect, but we have one faithful God who is. Despite our own weaknesses and mistakes, He still pours out His grace. Although we may not deserve it, He forgives us and washes our past as white as snow.
Part of His plan and purpose for our lives is to be authentic Christians. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of wearing a false mask. I don't want to pretend I have it altogether. Or hide the truth about myself just to blend in with everyone else.
Instead, I want to be true to myself. I crave to be real, to be open, and to be loved for who I am. The imperfect, ADHD gal who is broken, brave, and a faithful warrior for Christ. A passionate writer who yearns to share a positive message of hope.
Sometimes we want to fit in. To be loved and accepted by others. We can become so desperate for their approval that we wear a false mask. Today, I encourage you to let go of all pretenses. To not be phony or pretend that you are someone who you are not. To face your fears about being found out. To walk in transparency as you relish being the amazing person who God designed you to be.