During the first four months, I struggled with clarity of what God truly called me to do. It was as if a dark cloud loomed overhead and blinded His great vision for me. As a writer, this was one of the tougher moments...blank, unwritten pages. Words could not be expressed. I felt plagued by distractions, stress, and nonstop interruptions.
On one sunny day in May, I reached the end of my rope. This is when I came to the conclusion that my book may never be written. Frustrated, I was at a loss on how to resolve my challenges. With tear-stained eyes, I cried out, "God, what do you want me to do? How come I can't write? Please give me a sign so I know my next step."
Silently, I sensed God urging me to go outdoors. So I grabbed my journal, sunglasses, and water bottle before heading to my back yard where I relaxed in my lawn chair. As I journaled my thoughts on paper, I suddenly noticed a beautiful butterfly. It freely fluttered around me gracefully and I took delight in merely observing it go to and fro.
The next morning, it dawned on me that this butterfly was a tangible sign from the Lord. It was an answer to prayer that I didn't realize, until I put more thought into it. Amazingly, the symbolism of butterflies are transition, surrender, and transformation.
Ironically, the book venture I was struggling with was about being transformed in the body, mind, and spirit. In awe, I embraced this little sign from God and felt determined to overcome the difficulties with writing. Actively, I took the first step and boldly began typing a new chapter when the words, thoughts, and ideas flowed. One chapter turned into two, and then three, and many more.
Within a two week period, I've accomplished more work than I did in the entire year! I am blown away at how God has provided me a butterfly to give me hope, but has also graciously provided for all of my writing needs. When I take a closer look at the meaning of a butterfly, it is a symbolism of:
- Being brave.
- Expanding our minds.
- Spiritual awakening.
What this has taught me is that God had a higher purpose for me to sit still in the beginning of this year. While it was difficult for me to remain still and simply trust, Christ went ahead of me to prepare me for a new season of abundant growth. In essence, as I write my book about being transformed, the Lord is transforming me. It's exhilarating, enlightening, and scary!
Although I do not know where I am heading or when my book will be released, I know beyond a shadow of doubt that God will lead the way. I trust He is guiding me and equipping me to finish what He started in me. New doors will spring open and I am ready to boldly move forward anticipating what's to come.
"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)
If you are also going through tough times and uncertain what God is doing in your own life, take heart. He will make a way where there seems to be no way. He is sovereign and His grace is sufficient. Trust that your breakthrough is around the bend!