A lot has happened all at once. In May, my dad passed away. In June, I was officially diagnosed with Complex PTSD.
There's much more going on, but it's confidential. I will sum it up by saying my therapist confirmed that my C-PTSD is due to compounded trauma.
It gets complicated. My trauma includes child neglect and abuse, statutory rape, sexual assault by my sister's husband, narcissistic abuse, and long-term psychological abuse from my toxic birth family. It's not an easy pill to swallow.
The truth about trauma is that it's not a one time thing. Instead, it's what survivors face for a lifetime. Flashbacks. Nightmares. Physical pain. Disassociation. PTSD. The list of symptoms goes on and on.
Very often, abuse survivors had their trauma denied, ignored, or trivialized. Writing is a big part of healing. Journaling is therapeutic and cathartic. It gives us the opportunity to define the truth.
We confess: Yes, this did happen to me. It was that bad. It was the fault and responsibility of the adult. It is not my shame to carry.
I love this inspiring quote by Danielle Bernock who says, "Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.”
If you are an abuse survivor, please know that you deserve to heal. Take the necessary time to validate your own trauma. Despite what anyone else says, (whether they deny what happened, blame you, or shame you) any form of physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual abuse is evil. It is wrong on every level. And it's criminal.
An important part of inner healing is to break the silence of abuse. To no longer be censored. To have the courage to tell your true story even if it's to one trustworthy person.
Another vital component of the healing process is to create healthy boundaries. To stand firm in your healing process. For those who refuse to respect you or your boundaries, you must release them from your life. Otherwise, their manipulation, gaslighting, deception, and abuse will continue.
Do not take the bait! Never engage with toxic people. It is unproductive. You cannot fix them, nor change their hostile behaviors.
Protect yourself by loving them from a long distance. Practice "gray rock." Or better yet, go no contact to be free from them permanently.
Based on the fact that we are each unique people with different circumstances, our healing journey may not look alike. What works for one person doesn't always work the same for another. Do whatever works best for you. To consider various forms of healing, including professional therapy, EMDR, EFT, Somatic Therapy, Reiki Therapy, and bodywork.
Other than traditional talk therapy, I'm a big fan of pure essential oils, CBD oil, herbal remedies, massage therapy, self-care, and gentle stretching. We do have the innate ability to heal. It's empowering when we take back control of our bodies and minds.
Inner healing means that we love, value, and respect ourselves enough that we don't expect anything less from others. We deserve to be treated with kindness, empathy, grace, and compassion. For those who won't change negative behaviors, bless and release.
When we bravely start a healing journey, we not only heal ourselves, but we can heal others. This is my WHY for writing books, especially the fifth one I'm working on now; Soul Cry. To link arms with other survivors to educate, advocate, build awareness, and to offer emotional support.
If you are on a healing journey from abuse or trauma, know that it's not the abuser or predator who made you stronger. They didn't. Rather, they tried to break you. They violated you!
Do you know who made you stronger and braver? YOU did! You are a badass warrior. You survived your deepest wounds. You overcame great obstacles.
Even if it seems slow, you are starting to heal. You are doing the hard work. Stay the course, my friend, and fight the good fight. Beyond a shadow of doubt, you are worthy it and so is your inner healing.